away messages that dont suck
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Lil Eli

So far I've submitted 55 away messages, and they've been used a total of 71524 times. Here are my messages...

by: Lil Eli (10/08/2007)

::Hacking into Santa's Computer::

"I was on the Naughty list this year...?







YES!!!!!!!!!!!"
Funny
1300 Clicks

by: Lil Eli (09/10/2007)

(Lois walks in on Stewie torturing a bully)
Stewie: We're playing house...
Lois: But that kid is all tied up!
Stewie: Roman Polanski's house.

~Family Guy
TV/Movies
1300 Clicks

by: Lil Eli (09/10/2007)

Stewie: Now, I'm going to do something I like to call the 'Compliment Sandwich" Where I say something good, talk about where you need improvement, and then end with something good.
Brian: Whatever you gotta do...
Stewie (flips notepad): Something good... something good... You look like SNOOPY and it makes me smile... but you have smelly dog farts.

~Family Guy
TV/Movies
1300 Clicks

by: Lil Eli (06/22/2007)

Meg (about Peter being retarded): I can never go to school again!
Stewie: Oh, yes, Meg, yes-yes yes, everything was going swimmingly for you until this. Yes, yes, THIS is the thing that will ruin your reputation, not your years of grotesque appearance, or your awkward social graces, or that Felix Ungerish way you clear your sinuses, no no no, it's THIS. Do you hear yourself talk? I might kill you tonight.
~Family Guy
TV/Movies
1301 Clicks

by: Lil Eli (06/22/2007)

Peter (narrating his life): "I walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. I looked with a grimace at the questionable meal Lois had placed in front of me. Of course I'd never tell her how disgusted I was with her cooking, but somehow I think she knew. Lois had always been full of energy and life, but lately I had begun to grow more aware of her aging. The bright, exuberant eyes that I had fallen in love with were now beginning to grow dull and listless with the long fatigue of a weary life. (Lois knocks Peter out.) I woke several hours later in a daze."
~Family Guy
TV/Movies
1300 Clicks

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