away messages that dont suck
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xowaitnbleedxo

So far I've submitted 6 away messages, and they've been used a total of 7509 times. Here are my messages...

by: xowaitnbleedxo (06/15/2009)

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

--Steven Wright.
Jokes
1259 Clicks

by: xowaitnbleedxo (06/15/2009)

"I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets."
-Dave Edison
Jokes
1264 Clicks

by: xowaitnbleedxo (06/09/2009)

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
--Ellen DeGeners
Jokes
1236 Clicks

by: xowaitnbleedxo (06/01/2009)

Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
-Steven Wright
Jokes
1244 Clicks

by: xowaitnbleedxo (05/29/2009)

"I was walking down fifth avenue today and I found a wallet, and I was gonna keep it rather than return it, but I thought: well, if I lost a hundred and fifty dollars, how would I feel? And I realized I would want to be taught a lesson."
-Emo Philips
Jokes
1262 Clicks

Pages: 12
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