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kate28

So far I've submitted 121 away messages, and they've been used a total of 157431 times. Here are my messages...

by: kate28 (10/16/2009)

Today we salute you,
Stressed out college student,
During exam week.
As you sit in your lonely cubical in the library,
Doped up on Starbucks & Aderol,
You think to yourself,
"Am I ever going to need to know this stuff in life?"
The distractions are tempting,
And you have suddenly diagnosed yourself with ADD,
Along with advanced delusionary schizophrenia with involuntary narcissistic rage.
I'm sure by now you know exactly what everyone is doing because you have checked your buddy list 800 times.
Christmas break is just days away,
And your Prozac prescription will be in tomorrow.
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light after that last exam,
Because for most of us,
Christmas will be spent in rehab.
We Salute You
1300 Clicks

by: kate28 (09/22/2009)

Today we salute you,
Mr. Stadium Scoreboard Marriage Proposal Guy.
You've combined the three things you love most in this world.
Your girlfriend.
Your team.
And lots and lots of attention.
(everyone look at meee)
Your first proposal?
Her hand in marriage.
Your second proposal?
Two more jumbo chili dogs.
(chili cheeeeese)
It's the perfect plan,
Unless her name is spelled wrong,
She's in the bathroom,
Or she says no.
(pretty pleease)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. Bachelor on the Big Screen.
And remember,
That even if she says no,
We'll always say yes.
We Salute You
1300 Clicks

by: kate28 (08/21/2009)

Today we salute you,
Mr. Outside The Stadium Peanut Seller.
You stand like a sentry outside the grounds of our national passtime,
Offering us your salty nuts.
(nice and crunchy)
Half price on the outside,
All the taste,
That's your pitch.
(nuts for scratch)
There's nothing like spending a summer day on a hard bleacher seat crunching your nuts.
(crunch crunch oh!)
Unless it's sitting behind home plate spreading mustard on your weiner.
(hot n spicy)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. Outside The Stadium Peanut Seller,
Because thanks to you,
A bag of peanuts costs only peanuts.
We Salute You
1303 Clicks

by: kate28 (08/21/2009)

Today we salute you,
Mr. Major Highway Line Painter.
Michelangelo had the Sistine Chapel.
Da Vinci had his Mona Lisa.
And you..
You've got Route 22.
(it's a long and lonely road)
Armed with a brush,
10,000 gallons of yellow paint,
And a whole lotta drop cloths,
You work your magic.
(abracadabra)
Most painters worry about the subtle play of light and shadow,
You just worry about getting hit by a truck.
(watch out now!)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Toulouse of the Turnpike.
When it comes to great art,
Your work kicks asphalt.
(kick some major asphalt)
We Salute You
1301 Clicks

by: kate28 (07/13/2009)

Today we salute you,
Mr. Putt-Putt Golf Course Designer.
Through the magic of astroturf and animatronics,
You've taken the time-honored game of golf,
And made it fun again.
(keep on strokin)
They said a three foot putt wasn't a challenge,
So you added windmills.
(china windmills)
While lesser men wasted time with fairways and sand traps,
You had visions of fiberglass volcanos and giant clown heads.
(clowns freak me out now)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. Putt-Putt Golf Course Designer,
Because you and I know that a round of golf should always,
Always include Indian teepees.
We Salute You
1300 Clicks

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