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kate28

So far I've submitted 121 away messages, and they've been used a total of 157431 times. Here are my messages...

by: kate28 (09/10/2008)

Today we salute you, Mr. Hawaiian Shirt Pattern Designer
You provide us with colorful loungewear capable of hiding any stain we can dish out.
(gettin sloppy)
Who else could create flowered shirts that are still so unmistakeably masculine,
A single shirt that matches every pair of pants we own,
And really sets off a white belt?
(looking good now)
Sure women say they hate them,
But inside they're all swooning for the big kahuna.
(ooh kahuna!)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. Hawaiian Shirt Pattern Designer.
Your shirts may not be made in Hawaii,
But Taiwan is an island, too.
We Salute You
1303 Clicks

by: kate28 (09/10/2008)

Today we salute you Mr. Giant Taco Salad Inventor.
A culinary creation that baffles the human mind:
A 12,000 calorie salad.
Ground beef.
Refried beans.
Guacamole.
Cheese.
Sour Cream.
And if there is any room left a few shreds of lettuce.
Some may ask is your taco salad healthy?
Of course it is.
It's a salad isn't it?
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Conquistador of the Calorie,
Because you put the feast in fiesta.
We Salute You
1300 Clicks

by: kate28 (08/28/2008)

Today we salute you Mr. Fake Tattoo Inventor.
Through the miracle of hypoallergenic adhesives,
You transform us from mild mannered accountants
Into roadhouse biker hooligans
(hoooligan)
Be it screaming skull,
Or thrashing tiger,
You've got a temporary alter-ego for any occasion.
(flaming dragon)
What else says "I love you, mom"
Like a heart with a sword through it?
(you know I love you momma)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. Fake Tattoo Inventor Guy.
We may not have been born to ride,
But thanks to you,
We can feel like it.
We Salute You
1300 Clicks

by: kate28 (08/28/2008)

Today we salute you, Mr. Giant Inflatable Pink Gorilla Maker.
The automotive industry's most convincing marketing tool:
The giant gas-filled pink gorilla.
(a slow-jumping monkey)
Factory rebates.
0% financing.
Poppycock.
Nothing sells cars like a helium happy primate.
(you said it brother)
Why a gorilla?
Because who'd buy a car from a dealer with a giant inflatable hamster?
(not gonna buy it)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, oh King of the Automotive Jungle.
When we say "you're the greatest,"
We're not just blowing hot air.
We Salute You
1300 Clicks

by: kate28 (08/28/2008)

Today we salute you, Mr. Foot Long Hot Dog Inventor.
When conventional wisdom said no one could make a hot dog longer than six inches,
You dared to dream.
(dared to dream)
You knew the limitations of a regular sized hot dog bun,
And you ignored them.
(can't stop me now)
You made a ten inch wiener,
And people cheered.
(oh!)
But you weren't satisfied.
You said, "Wait, I think I can still give you two more inches."
(gotta want it)
And so the foot long was born.
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. Hot Dog Hero,
Because you gave every one of us our fondest wish:
A bigger wiener.
(thank you thank you thank you!)
We Salute You
1300 Clicks

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