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kate28

So far I've submitted 121 away messages, and they've been used a total of 168345 times. Here are my messages...

by: kate28 (09/10/2008)

Today we salute you, Mr. Handlebar Mustache Wearer.
It takes a real fashion pioneer to know that some things never go out of style,
Like facial hair...
From the 18th century.
(a-stylin' and profilin')
With a little wax and a twist of your fingers,
You're an instant man about town.
(man about town)
You may not be a Civil War general,
But with a handlebar mustache,
Even a simple computer programmer can rally the troops.
(tally-ho)
Heaven knows we wouldn't be caught dead with one,
But it looks good on you.
(OOooo)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, oh Soup-Straining Friend.
And know that if you keep wearing it,
We'll keep staring at it.
We Salute You
1406 Clicks

by: kate28 (09/10/2008)

Today we salute you, Mr. Humongous Pumpkin Grower Guy.
Anyone can grow a regular-sized pumpkin.
But only a man with lots and lots of free time,
Can grow a giant, super, humongous pumpkin.
(that's not natural)
The only thing more enjoyable than seeing a humongous pumpkin,
Seeing the local hoodlums take a baseball to it.
(smash smash smash it up)
What's for dinner?
Pumpkin pie.
Every day for the next 17 months.
(gonna need some whip cream)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, oh Guru of the Gourd.
And while you're at it,
Cut me a piece of that humongous pie.
We Salute You
1437 Clicks

by: kate28 (09/10/2008)

Today we salute you, Mr. Fortune Cookie Fortune Writer
Most writers leave their wisdom in a book,
You leave yours in a cookie.
(crunchy cookie!)
Sure they taste good,
But it's the information you provide that we're really hungry for.
(love is 'round the corner)
Though your tablet is small,
Your message never is.
(show me the way)
Of course the moo shu pork and the egg foo young fill our bellies,
But it's your inspiration that keeps us well nourished.
(yum yum yum yum egg foo young)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. Fortune Cookie Fortune Writer,
Because when you say our luck is about to change,
We believe you.
We Salute You
1370 Clicks

by: kate28 (09/10/2008)

Today we salute you, Mr. Gangsta Rapper Posse Member.
Behind every great man,
There is a great woman.
And behind that woman?
Fourteen guys with sideways baseball caps and really baggy pants.
(those pants are giant)
What do you do when you have no talent whatsoever?
Attach yourself to someone who does.
(fo izzle my shnizzle)
Gold tooth.
Check.
Giant gold medallion.
Check.
Royalties from record sales.
No check.
(help a brother out)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Barren of the Brown Nose.
Then crack open another thirteen for the rest of the crew.
We Salute You
1362 Clicks

by: kate28 (09/10/2008)

Today we salute you, Mr. Horse-Drawn Carriage Driver.
You start your day with a "tip tip" and a "cheerio"
Which is odd,
Because you're from Brooklyn.
(Jolly old Brooklyn!)
While most people sit behind a desk,
You proudly sit two feet behind a four-legged manure factory.
(uugghh!)
No one knows the guts it takes to ride the subway to work dressed as a foppish dandy from the 18th century.
(He's a foppish dandy)
Blaring horns.
Profanity.
Vicious insults.
All met with a courtly tip of your stovepipe hat.
(Cheerio!)
So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, Buggy Boy,
Because the way you say "giddyup"
Makes us say "whoa!"
(whoa whoa whoa)
We Salute You
1360 Clicks

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