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kate28

So far I've submitted 121 away messages, and they've been used a total of 157431 times. Here are my messages...

by: kate28 (06/03/2009)

Today we salute you, Mr. Overly Competitive Touch Football Game Player.
A little friendly competition never hurt anybody,
Unless that anybody happens to be the person you're covering.
(bring the paaaaiiin)
Hands?
No.
Blazing speed?
No.
Unresolved anger after being cut from the football team 17 years ago?
Big time.
(I still have issues)
When it comes to two-hand touch,
You leave it all out on the field.
Your blood.
Your sweat.
Your dignity.
(dignity is overrated)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Backyard Bruiser.
The way you play the game
Will always leave us in stitches.
We Salute You
1300 Clicks

by: kate28 (06/03/2009)

Today, we salute you, Mr. In The Car Nose Picker.
For you,
The daily commute isn't simply a drive to the office,
It's a hands on exploration deep into your shnoz.
(I'm going in now)
With pinpoint accuracy and sheer determination,
You dig for boogers like miners dig for gold.
(hit the jackpot)
And why do you do it?
Because the windows are up and you think that we can't see you.
We can.
(how ya doin'?)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, oh Nabber of the Nose Nugget,
We'd like to shake your hand but...
You will have to wash it first.
We Salute You
1300 Clicks

by: kate28 (06/02/2009)

Today we salute you,
Mr. Miniature Train Modeler.
Yours is a perfect magical world
Wedged neatly between your furnace and your hot water heater.
(keep on dreamin')
Your mini-town has a mini ice cream store,
Complete with a mini soda jerk,
Guaranteeing there will always be at least two jerks in your mini world.
(you'll never be alone)
Woo-woo. All aboard.
First stop.
Nutsville.
(chug chug woo woo!)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Master Of Your Mini World.
You're cuckoo about choo-choos,
And that's fine with us.
We Salute You
1301 Clicks

by: kate28 (06/02/2009)

Today we salute you,
Mr. Moped Sooper Upper.
Any tourist can rent a crummy bicycle with an engine,
But only you have the moxy to put a V-twin on it and fly up Diamond Head without a helmet.
(YEAH!)
Is that a volcano erupting?
No, it's just your muffler.
(mine's louder than yours)
You take an under-powered piece of junk and turn it into an.. over-powered piece of junk.
(Get my motor running)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, O Maestro of the Motorbike. We'd sing your praises,
But with that muffler,
You couldn't hear us.
We Salute You
1300 Clicks

by: kate28 (05/29/2009)

Today we salute you,
Mr. Local Texas Football Legend.
You scored the winning touchdown at State 17 years ago,
And you've been dancing in the end zone ever since.
(I love meee)
You lost the big account,
Your neighbor's dog,
And just recently, your wife's car keys.
Yet people still call you Clutch.
(touchdown cluutch)
Blue 22.
Red 37.
Brown 19.
Now all just ingredients in your hair dye.
(I dye my sideburns)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Earl of the Endzone.
We'll never forget your greatness,
Mostly because you won't let us.
We Salute You
1300 Clicks

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