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♥ I Want a Guy … Who Would Move The Hair Away From My Eyes & Then Kiss Me. Hold My Hand In Line At The Mall To Make All The Girls Jealous .. Someone Who Would Sing To Me At RAND0M Moments. Who Would Let Me Sleep On Their Chest .♥ & He Wouldn` Mind If i Ate More Than Him .. Someone Who Would Let Me Gossip To Him .. & Would Just Smile & AGREE With Everything I Said .. No Matter How POiNTLESS!!.. He Would Throw ♥ Stuffed Animals ♥ At Me When i Acted Dumb & Then Kissssed Me a MILLION Times !! Someone Who Made Fun Of Me Just To Make Me Laugh ` He Would Tell All His Friends About Me .. And SMiLE When He Did .. =] AND WE`D MAKE OUT IN THE P0URING RAIN ..!! He`d Never Be Afraid To Say I Love y0u In Front Of His Friends. & We`d Argue About SiLLy Things ..& Then Make Up <3 ♥I Want a Guy To Kiss Me At Midnight On New Year`s & Count Stars With Me ♥ He Would Tell Me In Beautiful .. But Not Too Often. ! & Make Me Laugh Like NOONEElse Could .. But M0STLy .. I Want Someone Who Would Be My Best Friend & Would NEVER Break My Heart. ♥
50 Things Girls should Know about Guys: 1. Guys hate sluts. 2. "Hey, are you busy?" or "Are you doing something?" - two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone. 3. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about. 4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes. 5. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile. 6. Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him. 7. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they're goin for the let-her-complain-to-you- and-then-have-her-realize-how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method. 8. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to. 9. Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved. 10. Don't talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend. 11. Guys get jealous easily. 12. Guys are more emotional than they'd like people to think. 13. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...never mind.." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out. 14. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like. 15. Guys hate asking parents for money to buy girls presents. So they come up with ideas like saving their lunch money for a week. But it never works because guys are always hungry so they end up asking the parents for money anyway. 16. Girls are guys' weaknesses. 17. Guys are very open about themselves. 18. It's good to test a guy first before you trust him. But don't let him wait too long. 19. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend. 20. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice. 21. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you. 22. Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships. 23. Guys will brag about anything. 24. Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. We rarely use beautiful. If a guy uses that, he likes you. 25. -->Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant. 26. Guys seek for advice from girls not other guys. Because most guys think alike, so if 1 guy's confused, then we're all confused. 27. Any guy could write out a rulebook or advice book for flirting, but no guy can write out a book about relationships. 28. Try to be as straightforward as possible. 29. A guy has to experience rejection, because if he's too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won't be mature and grown up. 30. If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl. 31. No matter how much guys talk about asses and boobs, personality is key. 32. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience. 33. Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped. 34. If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and is spazzing inside. 35. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that. 36. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me." 37. Guys don't really have final decisions. 38. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up. 39. If your best guy friend seems to avoid you or is never around when you're with your boyfriend, he's probably jealous and likes you. 40. When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something. 41. Guys like femininity not feebleness. 42. Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do. 43. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes. 44. Don't be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily. 45. Everything in moderation. Put on makeup, wear perfume. Just not too much. 46. Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys. 47. Guys hate rejection, but they hate being led on even more. 48. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them. 49. A guy would give his left nut to be able to read a girl's mind for a day. 50. No guy can handle all his problems by his own. He's just too stubborn to admit it
TOP TEN WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE PMS...
10. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
9. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet
8. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
7. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
6. You're using your cell phone to dial up bumper stickers that say, "How's my driving? Call 1-800-EAT-SHIT."
5. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
4. You're convinced there's a God and he's male.
3. You're counting down the days until menopause.
2. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
1. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine. Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator. Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter. Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today. Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: But would you stay there? Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine. Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator. Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter. Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized. Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today. Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: But would you stay there? Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
~:|:~ Good girls don't lie,
~:|:~ Bad girls don't cry,
~:|:~ Dumb girls need "air",
~:|:~ Naughty girls need underwear,
~:|:~ Sweet girls aren't mean,
~:|:~ Funny girls make a scene,
~:|:~ Perfect girls have all the class,
~:|:~ Mean girls will kick your ass,
~:|:~ Smart girls will excel,
~:|:~ Gossip girls will tell,
~:|:~ Popular girls get all the boys,
~:|:~ Little girls play with toys,
~:|:~ Normal girls are nothing new,
~:|:~ So which one applies to you?
Every man knows that there are days in the month when all he has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life into his very hands! This handy guide should be as common as a drivers license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or signifigant other!
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: May I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, Have some chocolate
DANGEROUS: Why are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: What did I do wrong?
SAFEST: Here's Fifty Dollars
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate
DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didnt overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate
10 Things You Won't Hear a Man Say
1. Let's watch Lifetime!
2. Sex is overrated.
3. I don't want to go too far on the first date.
4. Yes, I did notice your sister's breasts are bigger than yours.
5. There is nothing I like better than crawling into bed with a good book.
6. I'm glad I don't have a large penis.
7. My hips are too big.
8. Aw, can't we watch Oprah?
9. Does this suit make me look fat?
10. I'll never get tired listening to Celine Dion.
10 things guys should know about girls:
1. If you hear the word PMS duck.
2. Girls always know what your thinking. 3. The word "secret" means nothing.
4. Girls always go in packs.
5. They do not care "how long or big".
6. At the start looks are the only thing that matters.
7. Outgoing is different than stupid.
8. You will never know what they're thinking.
9. SHY BOYS SUCK.
10. Girls are not delicate, they just want attention.
10 REASONS TO DATE A DANCER...
1. We're extremely flexible
2. We are fast learners
3. We keep a rhythm going
4. We are used to being naked in front of other people
5. At a club, we make you look good
6. Can you say nice legs?
7. "Why yes, I can wrap my legs around my head"
8. Dance outfits leave nothing to the imagination
9. We have mastered all the positions
10. We keep going even when it hurts
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