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Browsing Chuck Norris...
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by: 1337one (03/23/2006)

Angels sang out in immaculate chorus
Down from the heavens descended Chuck Norris
Who deliver a kick which could shatter bones
Into the crotch of Indiana Jones
Who fell over on the ground, writhing in pain
As Batman changed back into Bruce Wayne
But Chuck saw through his clever disguise
And he crushed Batman's head in between his thighs

Then Gandalf the Grey and Gandalf the White and
"Monty Python and the Holy Grail"'s Black Knight and
Benito Mussolini and The Blue Meanie and
Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie
Robocop, the Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader
Lo Pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger
Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan,
Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan
All came out of no where lightning fast
and they kicked Chuck Norris in his cowboy ass
It was the bloodiest battle the world ever saw
With civilians looking on total awe

-"The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny", Lemon Demon
Chuck Norris
1,415 Clicks

by: Korei Ryuu (03/10/2006)

"And then Gandalf the Grey, and Gandalf the White, and 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail's' Black Knight, and Benito Mussolini, and the Blue Meanie, and Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie; Robocop, the Terminator, Captain Kirk and Darth Vader, Lo Pan, Superman; Every single Power Ranger, Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan; Spock, The Rock, Doct. Oct. and Hulk Hogan all came outta no where lightning fast and they kicked Chuck Norris in his cowboy ass, it was the bloodiest battle that the world ever saw, and civilians looked on in total awe..."
-Lemon Demon
Chuck Norris
1,345 Clicks

by: somedudenamed (06/05/2006)

Chuck Norris and Jack Bauer had an origami faceoff. Jack Bauer whipped out a piece of paper, then gracefully made an origami chess set. Chuck Norris went behind a screen, made his model, then came back out. He said, "Let's play chess first." They play, Chuck Norris wins, pulls down the sheet. It was a life size Chuck Norris. Chuck pulled a tab on his back that made the figure give Jack a roundhouse kick in the head. Jack's head popped off, then Chuck yelled, "Never challenge Chuck Norris!"
Chuck Norris
1,342 Clicks

by: Eagles308 (04/17/2006)

On Halloween, monsters dress up as Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris
1,310 Clicks

by: Eagles308 (06/08/2006)

Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with fourteen times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
Chuck Norris
1,303 Clicks

by: cheetahbabe85 (04/11/2006)

Chuck Norris, Vin Diesel and Arnold Schwarzenegger have all died and are in Heaven. Each of them hope to occupy the seat next to God. God asks Vin Diesel why he thinks he should have the seat and Vin replies, "I believe... I should have the seat because of the virtuosity in my toughness and pride." Arnie says, "I believe... that I should be the one sitting next to you because of all my achievements." God then turns to Chuck Norris, who replies with, "I believe... you are sitting in my seat."
Chuck Norris
1,298 Clicks

by: Roddickminitwin (08/13/2006)

When Chuck Norris was 2, his parents took him to a Georgia beach for vacation. His diaper fell off and his penis sprang forth. The image was captured by satalite and it was naturally assumed that it was actually a new State called Florida.
Chuck Norris
1,297 Clicks

by: Djman (04/11/2006)

BUD LIGHT PRESENTS: Real Men of Genius.
Today we salute you, Mr. Chuck Norris!
(Mister Chuck Norris!)
You know really how to deliver a round-house kick to all those villains.
(Ouch! Why you gotta kick so hard!)
You stand above the rest, MC Hammer can't touch you.
(Cant Touch Norris!)
Karate your eye Chuck, all you need is a round-house kick, a body bag, and a Bud Light.
(Chuck don't hurt me!)
So sit on down on your pile of bodies, Chuck, and crack open a nice Bud Light. Cheers.
(Mister Chuck Norris!)
Chuck Norris
1,292 Clicks

by: Roddickminitwin (09/06/2006)

The role of Willy Wonka in the remake of 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' was originally offered to Chuck Norris. However, he backed out of the project after the producers rejected his idea of a final fight scene with Charlie in which most of the cast dies.
Chuck Norris
1,290 Clicks

by: Roddickminitwin (05/06/2006)

When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC.
Chuck Norris
1,286 Clicks


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