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by: Bacalhau † (02/15/2008)

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.
Jokes
1,296 Clicks

by: sjmman94 † (02/12/2008)

Do you have Dr. Pepper in a can?
yeah...
Well let him out! hahaha! lol! rofl! lmao!!
ok.. so it wasn't that funny. I'm writing a better joke, bbl.
Jokes
1,284 Clicks

by: Packersfreak444 † (02/12/2008)

Two boys are playing catch in Rock Creek Park when one is suddenly attacked by a rabid rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his stick and shoves it under the dogs collar, twists it breaking the dog's neck and saving his friend.
A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident. "Redskins Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook.
"But Iím not a Redskins fan," the little hero replied.
"Sorry, since we are in DC I just assumed you were," said the reporter and he starts writing again.
"Captials Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack."
"I'm not a Captials fan either," the boy said.
"Oh, I assumed everyone in DC was either for the Redskins or the Captials. What team do you root for?" the reporter asked.
"I'm a Cowboys fan," the child said.
The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little Bastard From Dallas Kills Beloved Family Pet."
Jokes
1,431 Clicks

by: Bacalhau † (02/12/2008)

My grandfather always said, "Don't watch your money; watch your health." So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.
Jokes
1,236 Clicks

by: random † (02/06/2008)

How many women does it take to screw in a light-bulb?
None, let her cook in the dark.
Jokes
1,236 Clicks

by: Kevin :P † (02/06/2008)

Me: Have you seem them? They're so cute together!
%n: Who?
Me: THESE NUTS!!
Jokes
1,236 Clicks

by: zmander313 † (02/06/2008)

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
Jokes
1,248 Clicks

by: zmander313 † (02/06/2008)

Procrastination is the greatest laborsaving invention of all time.
Jokes
1,236 Clicks

by: markfan † (02/01/2008)

How does a boy-bird get engaged to a girl-bird?
He gives her a diamond ring-worm.
Jokes
1,245 Clicks

by: Lenvil † (02/01/2008)

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
Jokes
1,236 Clicks


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