away messages that dont suck
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by: Broadwaybaby1356   (06/12/2004)

One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leave her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seems OK, but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up.

Again she seems OK, but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning.

Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home. "So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" they ask.

"It's pretty nice," she replies. "Except they won't let you fart."
Jokes
1,350 Clicks
by: i GoTz YoU bAbii   (06/06/2004)

A Mouse Is An Elephant Built By The Japanese
Jokes
1,316 Clicks
by: Maefilly   (06/05/2004)

A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?" As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabby over there?" She, in turn blushes, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I don't fink my pet python weally gives a thit"
Jokes
1,325 Clicks
by: dagger588   (06/04/2004)

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, but only enough blood to run one at a time.
Jokes
1,321 Clicks
by: Hottpardybabe13   (06/03/2004)

Q. What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
A. Frosted flakes
Jokes
1,318 Clicks
by: ibreak4sk8rboyz   (06/03/2004)

Women are like hurricanes: when they come they're wet and wild, and when they leave they take the house and the car.
Jokes
1,317 Clicks
by: Michael Lee   (06/03/2004)

If ppl from New York are New Yorkers, what are ppl from Hamburg?
Jokes
1,316 Clicks
by: Luvahboy   (05/31/2004)

What do you call a gay midget?
Low Blow
Jokes
1,315 Clicks
by: big_k_1070   (05/29/2004)

Sex is like fishing.
You never know what you might catch! :-P
Jokes
1,321 Clicks
by: sketchywallflowr   (05/29/2004)

What's brown and sticky?

...A Stick!
Jokes
1,322 Clicks
Total Messages: 585, Now viewing messages (451 - 460)
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