away messages that dont suck
Home

 Top 25 Users

 Top 25 MSGs

 Buddy Icons

 Help
Browsing Jokes...
Sort By: Clicks | Submitter Name | Most Recent

by: Broadwaybaby1356   (06/12/2004)

One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leave her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seems OK, but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up.

Again she seems OK, but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning.

Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home. "So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" they ask.

"It's pretty nice," she replies. "Except they won't let you fart."
Jokes
1,390 Clicks
by: i GoTz YoU bAbii   (06/06/2004)

A Mouse Is An Elephant Built By The Japanese
Jokes
1,258 Clicks
by: Maefilly   (06/05/2004)

A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?" As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabby over there?" She, in turn blushes, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I don't fink my pet python weally gives a thit"
Jokes
1,383 Clicks
by: dagger588   (06/04/2004)

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, but only enough blood to run one at a time.
Jokes
1,240 Clicks
by: Hottpardybabe13   (06/03/2004)

Q. What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
A. Frosted flakes
Jokes
1,266 Clicks
by: ibreak4sk8rboyz   (06/03/2004)

Women are like hurricanes: when they come they're wet and wild, and when they leave they take the house and the car.
Jokes
1,258 Clicks
by: Michael Lee   (06/03/2004)

If ppl from New York are New Yorkers, what are ppl from Hamburg?
Jokes
1,258 Clicks
by: Luvahboy   (05/31/2004)

What do you call a gay midget?
Low Blow
Jokes
1,236 Clicks
by: big_k_1070   (05/29/2004)

Sex is like fishing.
You never know what you might catch! :-P
Jokes
1,258 Clicks
by: sketchywallflowr   (05/29/2004)

What's brown and sticky?

...A Stick!
Jokes
1,249 Clicks
Total Messages: 585, Now viewing messages (451 - 460)
Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53 | 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59
Family Guy Away Messages



 Art/Pix
 Babysitting
 Bathroom
 Celebs
 Chuck Norris
 Drinking
 Eating
 Emo/Real Life
 Funny
 Gaming
 Geek
 General
 Girly
 Homework/Study
 Inspirational
 Jokes
 Laundry
 Love
 Mean
 Naughty
 Other/Random
 Partying
 Phone
 Political
 School/Class
 Shopping
 Shower
 Sleeping
 Sports
 TV/Movies
 We Salute You
 Work
© CGI Inc. 2009
Privacy Policy
Advertise Ops
Free Horoscopes