away messages that dont suck
Home

Top 25 Users

Top 25 MSGs

Buddy Icons

Help

Browsing Jokes...
Sort By: Clicks | Submitter Name | Most Recent

by: Broadwaybaby1356 (06/12/2004)

One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leave her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seems OK, but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up.

Again she seems OK, but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning.

Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home. "So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" they ask.

"It's pretty nice," she replies. "Except they won't let you fart."
Jokes
1,332 Clicks

by: i GoTz YoU bAbii (06/06/2004)

A Mouse Is An Elephant Built By The Japanese
Jokes
1,253 Clicks

by: Maefilly (06/05/2004)

A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?" As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabby over there?" She, in turn blushes, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I don't fink my pet python weally gives a thit"
Jokes
1,337 Clicks

by: dagger588 (06/04/2004)

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, but only enough blood to run one at a time.
Jokes
1,240 Clicks

by: Hottpardybabe13 (06/03/2004)

Q. What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
A. Frosted flakes
Jokes
1,258 Clicks

by: ibreak4sk8rboyz (06/03/2004)

Women are like hurricanes: when they come they're wet and wild, and when they leave they take the house and the car.
Jokes
1,250 Clicks

by: Michael Lee (06/03/2004)

If ppl from New York are New Yorkers, what are ppl from Hamburg?
Jokes
1,253 Clicks

by: Luvahboy (05/31/2004)

What do you call a gay midget?
Low Blow
Jokes
1,236 Clicks

by: big_k_1070 (05/29/2004)

Sex is like fishing.
You never know what you might catch! :-P
Jokes
1,252 Clicks

by: sketchywallflowr (05/29/2004)

What's brown and sticky?

...A Stick!
Jokes
1,245 Clicks


Total Messages: 585, Now viewing messages (451 - 460)
Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53 | 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59
Simpsons Away Messages



Art/Pix
Babysitting
Bathroom
Celebs
Chuck Norris
Drinking
Eating
Emo/Real Life
Funny
Gaming
Geek
General
Girly
Homework/Study
Inspirational
Jokes
Laundry
Love
Mean
Naughty
Other/Random
Partying
Phone
Political
School/Class
Shopping
Shower
Sleeping
Sports
TV/Movies
We Salute You
Work

CGI Inc. 2009
Privacy Policy

Advertise Ops
Free Horoscopes