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by: the lord and master (04/29/2006)

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed a man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the man's smile turned into a grin, so she move again. The man seemed more amused. When she moved for the fourth time, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. (Only in Australia)

The case came up in court. The judge asked the man, (about 20 years old), what he had to say for himself.

The man replied, "Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sweets sign that said, THE DOUBLEMINT TWINS ARE COMING, and I grinned.

Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, LOGAN'S LINIMENT WILL REDUCE THE SWELLING, I had to smile.

Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign than said, WILLIAMS BIG STICK DID THE TRICK, I could hardly contain myself.

But, your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, GOODYEAR RUBBER COULD HAVE PREVENTED THIS ACCIDENT, I just lost it.
Jokes
1,323 Clicks

by: CowsRule89 (04/29/2006)

A rather attractive woman goes up to the register in an upscale hamburger establishment. She gestures alluringly to a large man who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his cheek, which is slowly turning a crimson red. "Are you the owner?" she asks, now softly stroking his face with both hands. Actually, "No" he replies. "I'm just the manager." "Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him." She asks, running her hands up beyond his ears and into his hair. "I'm afraid I can't," breathes the manager clearly aroused, "he's in the back doing taxes right now. Is there anything I can do?" "Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message." She continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently. "Tell him" she says "that there is no toilet paper or hand soap in the ladies room."
Jokes
1,335 Clicks

by: dcsbballhotshot (04/24/2006)

When you're a recovering alcoholic, having a non-alcoholic beer is like being a pedaphile and being given a midget in a cub scout uniform.
Jokes
1,250 Clicks

by: BoomBotz (04/19/2006)

Q: What did the jewish kid say in the huddle?
A: Get that quarterback
Jokes
1,236 Clicks

by: Kenacious K (04/17/2006)

Women: Can't live with them, can't bury them in the back yard without the neighbors seeing.
Jokes
1,247 Clicks

by: Mersh (04/11/2006)

A blonde, a brunette and a red head had a drinking contest and went back to the bar to compare their stories. The red head told the other two," i got so wasted that i went home and fell asleep." the brunette not impressed told them," i didnt even make it home." the blonde not impressed by either story said, "i went home and blew chunks." the brunette and the red head confused asked her," whats so bad about blowing chunks?" the blonde replied," you dont understand......... chunks is my DOG!!"
Jokes
1,305 Clicks

by: cakie (04/07/2006)

Doctors tell us there are over seven million people who are overweight. These, of course, are only round figures.
Jokes
1,251 Clicks

by: Korei Ryuu (04/07/2006)

How does one test rope-length for a bungee jump?

"Alright! Jump!"
...
-splat-

"Damn, alright shorten up the rope!
...
And give a free t-shirt to his girlfriend!"
Jokes
1,247 Clicks

by: spastic chick (04/07/2006)

Constipated people don't give a shit.
Jokes
1,242 Clicks

by: BlackMark (03/30/2006)

If glue eaters eat glue... are glue sticks like on-the-go nutrition bars?
Jokes
1,236 Clicks


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