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by: Kenacious K   (05/10/2006)

A dyslexic man walks into a bra
1,252 Clicks

by: RandomTask   (05/08/2006)

Like my six-pack...

...of pudding?
1,254 Clicks

by: Dinoklem   (05/04/2006)

I helped the EMTs at a car wreck and got blood all over my arms and shirt. It looked like I murdered 20 people with a fork... anyway, I walked into a convieniance store down the street and said my girlfriend needs a tampon. The guy at the counter was mortified.
1,286 Clicks

by: sodafromyoda   (05/04/2006)

A stranger walks into a bar and sits down. He bets the bartender $300 that he can piss into a glass 10 ft away from him without getting pee anywhere else. The bartender eagerly takes his bet. So the stranger is thinking about the glass…thinking about his dick…dick glass dick glass dick glass *dramatic pause*… and then he lets it rip. So this guy is peeing everywhere, peeing on the phone, the bartender, everywhere EXCEPT the freaking glass. So the bartender, covered in pee is laughing his head off because he's 300 dollars richer. So the stranger walks into another room, goes to some guys playing pool, and comes back with a smile on his face and gladly gives the bartender the 300 dollars. So the bartender, still laughing his ass off says, "What are you so happy about?" the stranger says, "I just bet those three guys there 500 dollars apiece that I can pee on your phone, your entire bar, and you, and you'd be happy about it!"
1,362 Clicks

by: josh B   (05/03/2006)

What do fish smoke??
Sea Weed
1,288 Clicks

by: speddy   (05/03/2006)

How do you make an egg roll?
You push it.
1,236 Clicks

by: bondage   (04/30/2006)

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge. "I should be in charge," said the brain , "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen." "I should be in charge," said the blood , "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away." "I should be in charge," said the stomach," Because I process food and give all of you energy." "I should be in charge," said the legs , "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go." "I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes." "I should be in charge," said the rectum , "Because I'm responsible for waste removal." All the other body parts laughed at the rectum And insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood Was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss. The Moral of the story? The asshole is usually in charge !!
1,383 Clicks

by: MFab   (04/30/2006)

G-Unit Spinner Diamond Necklace - $2g's
Gold Grill that has " GANGSTA" across the teeth - $1g
Sean John Ghetto Jacket - $250
Baggy Ass Sweat Pants or Ghetto Jeans - $150
Burburry Air Force Ones - $130
Flat brimed Camo Yankees throwback hat - $30
XXL Tall Tee - $12
Realizing your white and getting jumped in the hood - priceless

For everything else theres pepasray

1,396 Clicks

by: Evan   (04/30/2006)

A graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
A graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
A graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much it cost?"
A graduate with a liberal arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
1,260 Clicks

by: trumexican4lif   (04/29/2006)

An old lady who never married specified in her will that her tombstone say "Born a virgin, lived a virgin, died a virgin." That was too many words to put on the stone so they just wrote, "Returned unopened."
1,259 Clicks

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