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by: helenagd123 (01/16/2007)

I fell up an escalator once......

I fell for 3 frickin hours!
Jokes
1,243 Clicks

by: trieger3094 (01/16/2007)

I float like a butter fly Sting like a bee
I slept with your mom last night
NOW IT STINGS WHERE I PEE
Jokes
1,236 Clicks

by: ll GOLIATH ll (01/14/2007)

Once in a forest there was a fly. And this fly was flying over a stream. And in this stream was a salmon. The Salmon thinks to himself, "That fly is gonna drop 6 inches and when it does, I'm gonna jump up and get it." Next to this stream is a bear who thinks to himself, "That fly is gonna drop six inches so the salmon is gonna jump out of the watter and get it, and when it does I'm gonna rush in, grab and eat that salmon." Off to the side in some bushes there is a mouse. This mouse thinks to himself, "When that fly drops six inches, that bear's gonna rush in and grab that salmon coming up to get the fly, so I'll scurry in there and grab all the scraps." And watching this all was a cat, and he thought, "Once that fly drops six inches that bear is gonna grab the salmon going up to eat the fly so that mouse is gonna run in there to get the scraps and when he does, I'm gonna go in and pounce on the little mouse for my lunch."
So sure enough the fly drops six inches, the fish leaps out and swallows the fly, the bear rushes in, but trips which causes the mouse to swerve to the side and the cat has to leap over the bear and ends up in the water.

The moral to this story is: When the Fly drops six inches, the pussy is gonna get wet.
Jokes
1,270 Clicks

by: windswhisper4me (12/18/2006)

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Jokes
1,236 Clicks

by: Lugnutsjr (12/18/2006)

By the way you dont have to be sweaty and holding a basketball to enjoy a Gatoraid, you could just be a thirsty dude. Gatoraid forgets about this demographic.
Jokes
1,270 Clicks

by: birdhouse404 (11/26/2006)

10 Reasons Y to Date a PaintBaller
1: We all have at least 12 inch barrels.
2: We can shoot load after load.
3: We can work up the middle as well as the corners.
4: We know how to handle our balls.
5: We know paintball guns to guys are like jewelery to women.
6: We always wear protection.
7: It takes us only a matter of seconds to find the sweet spot.
8: If needed, we will never take our finger off the "trigger".
9: We play fast and hard.
10: We're not afraid to get a little messy.
Jokes
1,343 Clicks

by: Startaro (11/26/2006)

What's red and runs in circles?
A baby with its foot nailed to the floor.
Jokes
1,243 Clicks

by: hckyplayalife (11/06/2006)

Q.What do you call 100 white people chasing 1 black person?
A.The PGA tour.
Jokes
1,254 Clicks

by: nubslovecake (11/06/2006)

A CEO (and member of Forbes 400!) throwing a party takes his executives on a tour of his opulent mansion. In the back of the property, the CEO has the largest swimming pool any of them has ever seen. The huge pool, however, is filled with hungry alligators. The CEO says to his executives "I think an executive should be measured by courage. Courage is what made me CEO. So this is my challenge to each of you: if anyone has enough courage to dive into the pool, swim through those alligators, and make it to the other side, I will give that person anything they desire. My job, my money, my house, anything!"
Everyone laughs at the outrageous offer and proceeds to follow the CEO on the tour of the estate. Suddenly, they hear a loud splash. Everyone turns around and sees the CFO (Chief Financial Officer) in the pool, swimming for his life. He dodges the alligators left and right and makes it to the edge of the pool with seconds to spare. He pulls himself out just as a huge alligator snaps at his shoes. The flabbergasted CEO approaches the CFO and says, "You are amazing. I've never seen anything like it in my life. You are brave beyond measure and anything I own is yours. Tell me what I can do for you."

The CFO, panting for breath, looks up and says, "You can tell me who the hell pushed me in the pool!!"
Jokes
1,335 Clicks

by: futballplaya989 (11/06/2006)

Did you hear about that new band from Mexico? It's called "HISPANIC! At the Disco"
Jokes
1,257 Clicks


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