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by: I r |310ND3 (05/10/2007)

A smart blond, a dumb blond, and Santa Clause play poker. Who Wins?
The dumb blond... the other 2 don't exist!
Jokes
1,243 Clicks

by: b reisch (05/10/2007)

Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Give a man two fish and he'll eat for two days.
Jokes
1,236 Clicks

by: Lil Eli (05/10/2007)

A man walks into a bar, and orders a triple-shot of pure vodka on the rocks from the bartender, and drains it in one gulp. The bartender notices this and says to the main "Whats wrong, had a bad day?"
The man, just stairing at his glass, replies, "Yeah, I just found my wife sleeping with my best friend..."
The bartender says "Well I'll be damned...here, have this next one on me." As the man is drinking it, the bartender asks, "So what did you do after that?"
The man says, "Well, I said flat out to my wife, 'I'm tired of this and I'm getting a divorce with you!'". The bartender says "Way to go, that's the right thing. What about your best friend though?"
The man replies, "I walked straight up to him, looked him right between the eyes, and firmly said 'BAD DOG!'".
Jokes
1,356 Clicks

by: Lil Eli (05/10/2007)

After being nearly snowbound for two weeks last winter, a Seattle man departed for his vacation in Miami Beach, where he was to meet his wife the next day at the conclusion of her business trip to Minneapolis. They were looking forward to pleasant weather and a nice time together.
Unfortunately, there was some sort of mix-up at the boarding gate, and the man was told he would have to wait for a later flight. He tried to appeal to a supervisor but was told the airline was not responsible for the problem and it would do no good to complain.
Upon arrival at the hotel the next day, he discovered that Miami Beach was having a heat wave, and its weather was almost as uncomfortably hot as Seattle's was cold. The desk clerk gave him a message that his wife would arrive as planned. He could hardly wait to get to the pool area to cool off, and quickly sent his wife an e-mail, but due to his haste, he made an error in the e-mail address. His message therefore arrived at the home of an elderly preacher's wife whose even older husband had died only the day before!
When the grieving widow opened her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out an anguished scream, and fell to the floor dead. Her family rushed to her room where they saw this message on the screen:
Dearest wife,
Departed yesterday as you know. Just now got checked in. Some confusion at the gate. Appeal was denied. Received confirmation of your arrival tomorrow.
-Your loving husband.

PS - Things are not as we thought. You're going to be surprised at how hot it is down here.
Jokes
1,402 Clicks

by: BigD (05/07/2007)

If women with big boobs work at Hooters, then where do women with one leg work?
IHOP
Jokes
1,262 Clicks

by: happykid7 (05/07/2007)

Q: What are the last two things they give a Tickle-Me-Elmo before it leaves the factory?
A: Its two test-tickles
Jokes
1,253 Clicks

by: eatyourfiber2964 (05/07/2007)

Two hamburgers walked into a bar and the bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food.'
Jokes
1,248 Clicks

by: RaYDaWG717 (05/07/2007)

I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him $50 that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. He said, 'no, the steaks are too high.'
Jokes
1,279 Clicks

by: some1 (05/07/2007)

Man-law #101
Any girl who responds to the question, "What do you want for Christmas?" with, "If you loved me you would know!" gets an Xbox. End of story.
Jokes
1,272 Clicks

by: a dod (05/06/2007)

Have you ever wondered how they came up with the jingle for Hot Pockets? Was there just a guy sitting in a room messing around who was supposed to come up with a jingle?
"Jim! Lets here that jingle you've been working on for the past three days!"
"oh, uhh......hot pockets!"
*long silence*
"My God Jim! That's brilliant!!"
Jokes
1,253 Clicks


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