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by: aaaa (05/10/2005)

If anyone calls you short or small just yell back at them, "I am not small, I'm fun-sized!!"
Other/Random
1,246 Clicks

by: Skitz (05/10/2005)

Error 666 - Windows is possessed by the Devil. Please attempt to exorcise your computer. If this fails, restart and try again.
Note: Sometimes this alert denotes a theological uncertainty. If this message appears often, please contact Windows or your local church/mosque/synagogue.
Other/Random
1,282 Clicks

by: DarkDeath369 (05/10/2005)

To: %n
From: Agent 084
Subject: Classified Information
Message: Meet the blue chicken in the orange cow barn at 6:00 AM for special Egg pickup. After, you must meet our personnel in the airpot for special egg processing. While this happens, feel free to drink some coffee (fat free!). You will then be flown into the middle of a jungle, with no food or supplies and vicious animals all around you. You must then...uh...eh...um....
::END TRANSMISSION::
Note: You never received this message, you don't know who the hell Agent 084 is and you are now a gay transvestite who just moved to Cuba for smoking weed.
Other/Random
1,374 Clicks

by: dottie (05/04/2005)

Love your enemies...
...it @$*%s with their minds!!
Other/Random
1,236 Clicks

by: belgishkid11 (04/29/2005)

Did you ever notice, when sitting at a red light, that when the person in front of you pulls up a couple of inches, you are compelled to move up too? Do we really think we are making progress toward our destination?
"Whew, I thought we would be late, but now that I'm nine inches closer, I can stop for coffee and a danish!"
It's ok, you're not the only one.
Other/Random
1,250 Clicks

by: XHeadbangerdudEX (04/27/2005)

A friend will help you up when you fall down, but a best friend will trip you again and call you an ass...
Other/Random
1,236 Clicks

by: The Issa (04/27/2005)

Life is like a horse wearing a suit and smoking a cigar: hard to explain.
Other/Random
1,248 Clicks

by: hlywdhereicome07 (04/27/2005)

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no friggin way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why isn't notebook paper constantly suffocating students while they take notes in class? I'll tell you why: because paper can't beat anybody; a rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds. When I play rock/paper/scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to beat me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, "Oh shit, I'm sorry. I thought paper would protect you, you asshole!"
Other/Random
1,359 Clicks

by: Anonymous (04/27/2005)

I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not sure.
Other/Random
1,251 Clicks

by: Fez (04/22/2005)

Talking is my profession. Why don't I ever get paid for doing it? I only get paid for not doing it! Government these days!
Other/Random
1,240 Clicks


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