away messages that dont suck
Home

Top 25 Users

Top 25 MSGs

Buddy Icons

Help

Browsing Drinking...
Sort By: Clicks | Submitter Name | Most Recent

by: kate28 (01/13/2010)

Today we salute you,
Mr. Supermarket Deli Meat Slicer.
To feed America's hunger,
You stand dangerously close to a buzz saw,
Armed only with a salami.
(just youuu and your salami)
Behind your glass fortress,
You quickly fill orders as shopper's shout,
"Hey! I was first."
(taaake a number please)
And no matter what you're slicing,
From bologna to liverwurst,
You always hit your mark...
One-tenth of an ounce over.
(thaat's the way I like it)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Oh Master Slicer.
And remember, when someone asks "who cut the cheese?"
You can proudly say,
"It was me."
Drinking
1,316 Clicks

by: medic_jess_27 (07/27/2009)

Remember:
Wine is fine.
Brandy makes you randy.
Whiskey makes you feel frisky.
But a good stiff Johnny Walker will get you pregnant.
Drinking
1,264 Clicks

by: ?????????? (07/27/2009)

I swear to drunk I'm not God.
Drinking
1,249 Clicks

by: caucasianasian (07/27/2009)

Celebrating the BRB of life:
Beer
Rum
and more Beer
Drinking
1,236 Clicks

by: ?????????? (07/27/2009)

Drink your beer, there are sober kids in Africa.
Drinking
1,236 Clicks

by: Sped-Head13 (07/27/2009)

I used to think drinking was bad for me, so I gave up thinking.
Drinking
1,236 Clicks

by: tink10379 (07/27/2009)

When I started reading about the evils of drinking, I stopped reading.
Drinking
1,240 Clicks

by: rgangsta (10/22/2008)

i dont have a drinking problem. i drink, i get drunk, i fall asleep. see?! no problem!
Drinking
1,247 Clicks

by: kate28 (07/28/2008)

Today we salute you, Mr. Doggie Day Spa Operator. Watching your dog endure the hard-knock life of sleeping, eating, and going number 2, You've created a doggie utopia of sleep, eat... and go number 2. (that's 200 dollars) Leaving your dog in a car on a 90 degree day-- Inhumane. Leaving your dog in a 90 degree sauna-- Pampering. (another 200 dollars) Some people shave their dogs for the summer. YOU shave them, Trim their split ends, And add highlights. (your bill is 600 dollars) So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Oh Primper of the Pooch, Every dog will have its day, As long as it has an appointment.
Drinking
1,359 Clicks

by: MoBaby (06/12/2008)

Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 1862!
Drinking
1,240 Clicks


Total Messages: 215, Now viewing messages (1 - 10)
Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22
Chuck Norris Away Messages



Art/Pix
Babysitting
Bathroom
Celebs
Chuck Norris
Drinking
Eating
Emo/Real Life
Funny
Gaming
Geek
General
Girly
Homework/Study
Inspirational
Jokes
Laundry
Love
Mean
Naughty
Other/Random
Partying
Phone
Political
School/Class
Shopping
Shower
Sleeping
Sports
TV/Movies
We Salute You
Work

CGI Inc. 2009
Privacy Policy

Advertise Ops
Free Horoscopes