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1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already. 2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses. 3. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration. 4. I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them. 5. I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprive from my obligations. 6. I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given. 7. I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle, though exceptionally small, is not exactly zero. 8. If at first you don't succeed, there is always next year. 9. I shall always begin, start, intitiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it. 10. I obey the law on inverse excuses which demands that the greater the task to be done, the more insignificant the work that must be done prior to the greater task. 11. I know that the work cycle is not plan/start/finish, but is wait/wait/plan. 12. I will never put off for tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.
Death, God's greatest gift,
Life, God's greatest amusement.
Love, man's source of bliss,
Love, man's source of sorrow.
Happiness, a pigment of our imagination, to describe what we desire,
Anguish, what hides behind a smile, to disguise what really lies.
A man's peace as death awakes,
A baby's cry as it awakes the very first time.
The heart throbs as he falls for the one he loves,
The heart shatters as her words of woe fall from within her lips.
Our laughter and joy are our dreams of life,
Our despair and tears are our reality of life.
People say, "What of hell?"
I say, "What of life?"
We say, "I love you"
She says, "Just leave and go"
They know not the truth, they know happiness,
You know not the lie, you know that word is nothing but a word.
Angel of Death, where may you be?
God of life, shame on thee.
Cupid of love: aims, shoots, and hits,
Cupid's arrow of love/ tranquilizer of cries, in time shall dwindle to bits.
Santa Clause, bring me toys of joy
(Novocain of pain),
Father Time, speed it up, F*&K! Bring it on, cause life SUCKS!
Please, Oh please, kill me now.
Please, Oh please, end it now…
Ardvark Asian Abbaconasion Who
4:00pm: Wallow in self pity.
4:30pm: Stare into the abyss.
5:00pm: Solve world hunger. (tell NO ONE)
6:30pm: Dinner with me. (I can't cancel that again!)
7:00pm: Wrestle with my self-loathing.....
Of course, if I bump the loathing to 9:00, I could still be done in time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling and slip slowly into madness.
Things I've Learned About Life...
1. Happy endings are for fairy tales.
2. Love is a word that gets thrown around and can cause great pain.
3. Promises are meant to be broken.
4. People change.
5. Hopes and dreams are just wishful thinking.
6. You may find the person of your dreams but chances are they've already found theirs.
7. Never listen to anyone.
8. People kill people, not guns.
9. Life is never fair.
10. After all the bullshit is over, you die.
Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
It's not like nice guys finish last. It's more like there's a sniper hiding in a nearby clock tower, and he shoots out the nice guys' kneecaps so they can't even run the race. And then they sic the dogs on 'em.
The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later they were both eaten by a killer whale.
Have you ever stopped to think about how closely related girls are to parking spaces?
Just think: 1) The best ones are almost always taken
2) People tend to fight over the good ones
3) There's always someone lurking around hoping for one to become available
4) Once in, it can be tricky to back out
5) The handicapped variety is almost always there for the taking
I'm doing something with my life rather than sitting at my computer typing 'lol' and 'omg'
My Emo Hairstyle needs attending to (//_^)
Im gonna go fix it so you can stare at me longer
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