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by: andrewfox (06/05/2006)

And God said to Abraham, "You will kill your son Isaac."
And Abraham said to God, " I can't hear you, you'll have to speak into the microphone."
-Stewie Griffin,Family Guy
TV/Movies
1,251 Clicks

by: darkswordsw (05/30/2006)

Peter: Hey Mr.Pewterschmidt can I borrow billions of dollars for my book to be published?
Mr. Pewterschmidt:No Peter but you can have these fivedollars if you can get them out of this jar filled with barbedwire and salt.
Peter: Ahhhhhhhhh God!!!!! WHY DO YOU LEAVE THESE THINGS TOGETHER?????

-Family Guy
TV/Movies
1,273 Clicks

by: iceicebaby95 (05/30/2006)

Veronica: When in Rome...
Ron: I'm sorry?
Veronica: Oh, it's an expression; when in Rome, do as the Romans do.
Ron: Oh. When in Rome...
Veronica: Umm. No, that didn't really fit there.
~Ron Burgandy, Anchorman
TV/Movies
1,258 Clicks

by: random_monkey (05/26/2006)

"What the deuce?" "Who the hell is this?" "You pudgey-faced applejohn! You sicken me!"
--Stewie Griffin, Family Guy
TV/Movies
1,258 Clicks

by: white q-tip (05/23/2006)

"I'm a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That's what kind of man I am. You're just a woman with a small brain. With a brain a third the size of us. It's science."
-Ron Burgundy, Anchorman
TV/Movies
1,257 Clicks

by: d swigs (05/23/2006)

Peter: Hey, I got it! We can play I never. If you've done what the person said, you have to drink to it.
Joe: I'll start. I never slept with Cleveland's wife.
(Quagmire and Cleveland drink)
*many drinks later*
Peter: Okay, I never did a reach-around to a spidermonkey while singing the National Anthem.
Quagmire: What the h*ll! (he drinks)
Joe: Same as Peter's, but with a sailor hat on.
Quagmire: Oh God...(he passes out)

-Family Guy
TV/Movies
1,367 Clicks

by: Lil Eli (05/23/2006)

Andy: [stops lady from walking, is holding balloons with happy faces on them] Do you know why I hate myself?
Lady: No...
Andy: Neither do I, have a nice day, though.
[hands her balloon]
TV/Movies
1,257 Clicks

by: CalJsportz (05/23/2006)

Peter: "That must've been more awkward than when the slaves were freed."
Plantation Owner:"So you're free to go, but we're cool right?" (he holds out his hand like he wants to pound it)
TV/Movies
1,254 Clicks

by: Lil Eli (05/20/2006)

Larry: Andy? Andy? Andy i need to borrow your can opener again...Andy?
[goes and gets andy's clothes on]
I'm Andy
I'm Andy
I'm Andy
[goes out the room, comes back and puts a bag of peas on his head]
Got peas on my head, but don't call me a pea head
Got peas on my head, but don't call me a pea head
Got peas on my head, but don't call me a pea head
T-rex: SHUT THE F*** UP!
[Larry runs away]

--Andy Milonakis Show
TV/Movies
1,305 Clicks

by: Kenacious K (05/17/2006)

"If 32% of people don't like the job that the president is doing, doesn't that mean that 68% of people like that job that he isn't doing? Think about it!"
-Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report
TV/Movies
1,261 Clicks


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