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by: MyLovelyMis4tune (02/01/2006)

To be honest with you, I'm a liar.
Funny
1,300 Clicks

by: ihtaetypos416 (02/01/2006)

"The problem is not that there are too many fools in the world, it's that lightning isn't distributed right."
-Mark Twain
Funny
1,300 Clicks

by: jman10365 (01/22/2006)

Chasing my tail. THE DAMN THING NEVER STOPS!!!!!
Funny
1,300 Clicks

by: dawiteshak (01/10/2006)

Christmas Songs for Shrinks

Schizophrenia: Do You Hear What I Hear?
Multiple Personality: We Three Queens Disoriented Are.
Narcissism: Hark! The Herald Angels Sing About Me!
Dementia: I Think I'll Be Home for Christmas.
Paranoia: Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me.
Mania: Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town.
Depression: Silent Anhedonia, Holy Anhedonia, All is Flat, All is Lonely.
Personality Disorder: You Better Watch Out, I'm Going to Cry, I'm Going to Pout, then maybe I'll tell you why!
Obsessive Compulsive: Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell Swing, Jingle Bell Swing, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell Swing, Jingle Bell Swing, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell Rock
Suicidal: Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire. Passive Aggressive: On the First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me (then took away).
Funny
1,308 Clicks

by: George C (01/10/2006)

I'm out doing what I do best. Nothing!
Funny
1,300 Clicks

by: lvrboy307 (01/04/2006)

Yo %n, shake that laffy taffy!
Funny
1,300 Clicks

by: lil kiddie (12/31/2005)

13 Reasons Why it is so cool to be a man 1)Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. 2)You can go to the bathroom without a support group. 3)You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. 4)If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend. 5)Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack. 6)Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. 7)Same work, more pay. 8)Gray hair and wrinkles only add character. 9)Wedding dress: $2,000. Tuxedo rental: $75. 10)If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends. 11)You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors. 12)The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. 13)Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.
Funny
1,303 Clicks

by: dawiteshak (12/31/2005)

Oh, Christmas tree, Oh, Christmas tree, why did you fall on top of me? You broke my leg, you killed my dog. You electrocuted Santa Claus. Oh, Christmas tree, O, Christmas tree, Why did you fall on top of me?
Funny
1,300 Clicks

by: SSPDR (12/31/2005)

I'm busier than a three legged cat trying to burry shit on a frozen lake.
Funny
1,300 Clicks

by: Kenacious K (12/31/2005)

OOMPA LOOMPA DOOPADEEDOO
IM NOT HERE SO S T F U !
Funny
1,300 Clicks


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Chuck Norris Away Messages



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