away messages that dont suck
Home

Top 25 Users

Top 25 MSGs

Buddy Icons

Help

Browsing Funny...
Sort By: Clicks | Submitter Name | Most Recent

by: JesusWasHere90BC (05/07/2007)

Hi. (insert name here)'s instant messenger is broken. This is the refrigerator. Please type very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
Funny
1,254 Clicks

by: samuuuel1227 (04/10/2007)

In Hell.....Please Wait.....
Funny
1,236 Clicks

by: Jake Himself (04/10/2007)

Levi slim jeans: $50
Hockey Skates: $125
Speedo: $20

Realizing you are black *priceless*
Funny
1,282 Clicks

by: Jake Himself (04/10/2007)

wtf: went to finland
Funny
1,236 Clicks

by: sexxy2dope (04/10/2007)

Im out like a white kid in a street fight
Funny
1,251 Clicks

by: DictatorDerek (04/09/2007)

The term "bitch slap" is derived from African American Vernacular English (AAVE) slang. In the original sense, a "bitch slap" is a powerful, full-swing slap in the face with the back of the hand, evoking the way an angry pimp might slap a defiant prostitute. However, the term is now frequently used figuratively to describe a humiliating defeat or punishment. For example, if an American football team loses 42-0, one could say that they were "bitch slapped".
Funny
1,391 Clicks

by: aznkitty4220 (03/03/2007)

What's a weirdo like you doing at a profile/away like this?
Funny
1,239 Clicks

by: IamImpulse (02/15/2007)

Police are looking for a suspect described as Sexy, Funny & great in bed. Your ugly butt is safe but where should I hide!?!?!?
Funny
1,257 Clicks

by: Mr.Matt (01/16/2007)

Trying to escape a maximum security mental facilaty. (Its all Alfreds fault....)
LAST NIGHT...
Me: Shut up
Imaginary friend: No you shut up!
Me: No you started it!!
Imaginary Friend: Did not!
Me: Did too. So shut up!!
Imaginary Friend: Make me!
Me: Ok! Thats it!!!
Imaginary Friend: Bring it!
Me: I'LL KILL YOU!!!!!
Me:... Oh so you want to play dirty eh? Well ive got a gun too!
Imaginary Friend: Comon then!
Me: ARG!!!
*gunshots*
Imaginary Friend: Haha! I win
Me: Alfred, you fool! now im going to bleed to death!
Imaginary Friend: Its not my fault you shot yourself in the leg.
Me: Well you KNOW that im not good with a gun!
so I walked to the hospital and they put me in Pleasant Springs.
Currently crawling thorugh the sewage system of Pleasant Springs. Be back by morning!
Funny
1,333 Clicks

by: Sadude4evr (01/16/2007)

I always crack up when I read those signs in the front of stores/gas stations/whatever that say "no shirt, no shoes, no service." Apparently it's OK to walk in without PANTS.
Funny
1,257 Clicks


Total Messages: 689, Now viewing messages (171 - 180)
Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53 | 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 | 61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | 69
Most Popular Away Messages



Art/Pix
Babysitting
Bathroom
Celebs
Chuck Norris
Drinking
Eating
Emo/Real Life
Funny
Gaming
Geek
General
Girly
Homework/Study
Inspirational
Jokes
Laundry
Love
Mean
Naughty
Other/Random
Partying
Phone
Political
School/Class
Shopping
Shower
Sleeping
Sports
TV/Movies
We Salute You
Work

CGI Inc. 2009
Privacy Policy

Advertise Ops
Free Horoscopes