away messages that dont suck
Home

Top 25 Users

Top 25 MSGs

Buddy Icons

Help

by: meghan9169 (01/11/2005)

Twas the night before Christmas, In Vegas no qualms.
Paris Hilton was banging some guy at the Palms

Then Courtney Love flew in her private charter sleigh,
A landing so perfect, her armtracks led the way.

There's Anna Nicole in great shape, she's hiking in,
with bottles of Trimspa and buckets of Vicadin.

Is that the Sum 41 guy with Avril Lavign?
No way, she's the hardest core, hardcore punkrocker, I've ever seen.

I went to a strip club after a couple of beers.
I saw a pretty pole dancer, hey it's Brittney Spears.

With cut-off Daisy Dukes, hair blonde as honey,
Why is she stripping for dollars? Her husband Kevin took all her money.

Now Lindsay, now Mishca, Nicole Ritchey take care.
Someone's hurling into the toilet. It's Tara Reid, hold her hair.

I know she hates Lohan but Lindsay, Here's some drama,
Hillary Duff is in the corner f*cking Wilmer Valderama.

Who's that up in the ghost bar, wide eyed and out too late?
Asking if her ass looks too fat, it's Ashley with Mary-Kate.

So "It Girls" of Hollywood don't go too far
Cause what happens in Vegas stays in the Star
~Kathie Griffin
Celebs
1330 Clicks

by: kate28 (11/27/2007)

Today we salute you Mr. Centerfold Retoucher
Your incredible talent takes gorgeous women
And somehow makes them... gorgeouser
(a mucho gorgeoso)
Breasts - bigger.
Moles - smaller.
Mustaches - gone.
(you're a staaaar)
Thanks to you, hot wax is a thing of the past
And working out, is for suckers
(ancient history)
Any artist can say their work is in a gallery
But how many can say their work is stuffed under mattresses around the world
(you're gonna go blind)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, oh Da Vinci of the Derriere
Because thanks to you
We can enjoy real beauty the way we like it
Completely fake.
Drinking
1330 Clicks

by: d1nonly (05/22/2007)

♥ I Want a Guy Who Would Move The Hair Away From My Eyes & Then Kiss Me. Hold My Hand In Line At The Mall To Make All The Girls Jealous .. Someone Who Would Sing To Me At RAND0M Moments. Who Would Let Me Sleep On Their Chest .♥ & He Wouldn` Mind If i Ate More Than Him .. Someone Who Would Let Me Gossip To Him .. & Would Just Smile & AGREE With Everything I Said .. No Matter How POiNTLESS!!.. He Would Throw ♥ Stuffed Animals ♥ At Me When i Acted Dumb & Then Kissssed Me a MILLION Times !! Someone Who Made Fun Of Me Just To Make Me Laugh ` He Would Tell All His Friends About Me .. And SMiLE When He Did .. =] AND WE`D MAKE OUT IN THE P0URING RAIN ..!! He`d Never Be Afraid To Say I Love y0u In Front Of His Friends. & We`d Argue About SiLLy Things ..& Then Make Up <3 ♥I Want a Guy To Kiss Me At Midnight On New Year`s & Count Stars With Me ♥ He Would Tell Me In Beautiful .. But Not Too Often. ! & Make Me Laugh Like NOONEElse Could .. But M0STLy .. I Want Someone Who Would Be My Best Friend & Would NEVER Break My Heart. ♥
Girly
1330 Clicks

by: checkitout836 (04/22/2005)

Cigarette: My life sucks. Everyday someone lights my ass on fire, then sucks on me like I'm a Slurpee. Then when they're done, they throw me on the ground and step on me while the rest of me burns to ashes.
Wiener: You think that's bad? Everyday my whole body gets covered in some kind of straight jacket, and I'm plunged into some dark cave. I go back and forth like I'm on a broken roller coaster, and when the ride's over I throw up like a madman!
Naughty
1329 Clicks

by: scwlcsjafizzo323 (05/20/2006)

People don't play sports because its fun. Ask any athlete, most of them hate it, but they couldnt imagine their life without it. Its part of them, the Hate/love relationship. its wat they live for. They live for the practices, parties, cheers, long bus rides, invitationals, countless pairs of diff. types of shoes, water, Gatorade, & coaches u hate but appreciate. They live for the way it feels when you beat the team next to you by 1 pt. in overtime, & you know those 2 extra sprints you ran in practice were worth it. They live for the way you become a family with your team, they live for the countless songs you sing in your head when your running ALL those suicides. They live for the competition, they live for the friends, the practices, the memories, the pain, its who they are. It's who we are. WE ARE ATHLETES.
Sports
1329 Clicks

Pages: 12345
Chuck Norris Away Messages



Art/Pix
Babysitting
Bathroom
Celebs
Chuck Norris
Drinking
Eating
Emo/Real Life
Funny
Gaming
Geek
General
Girly
Homework/Study
Inspirational
Jokes
Laundry
Love
Mean
Naughty
Other/Random
Partying
Phone
Political
School/Class
Shopping
Shower
Sleeping
Sports
TV/Movies
We Salute You
Work

CGI Inc. 2009
Privacy Policy

Advertise Ops
Free Horoscopes