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♥ I Want a Guy … Who Would Move The Hair Away From My Eyes & Then Kiss Me. Hold My Hand In Line At The Mall To Make All The Girls Jealous .. Someone Who Would Sing To Me At RAND0M Moments. Who Would Let Me Sleep On Their Chest .♥ & He Wouldn` Mind If i Ate More Than Him .. Someone Who Would Let Me Gossip To Him .. & Would Just Smile & AGREE With Everything I Said .. No Matter How POiNTLESS!!.. He Would Throw ♥ Stuffed Animals ♥ At Me When i Acted Dumb & Then Kissssed Me a MILLION Times !! Someone Who Made Fun Of Me Just To Make Me Laugh ` He Would Tell All His Friends About Me .. And SMiLE When He Did .. =] AND WE`D MAKE OUT IN THE P0URING RAIN ..!! He`d Never Be Afraid To Say I Love y0u In Front Of His Friends. & We`d Argue About SiLLy Things ..& Then Make Up <3 ♥I Want a Guy To Kiss Me At Midnight On New Year`s & Count Stars With Me ♥ He Would Tell Me In Beautiful .. But Not Too Often. ! & Make Me Laugh Like NOONEElse Could .. But M0STLy .. I Want Someone Who Would Be My Best Friend & Would NEVER Break My Heart. ♥
Not only does no one know your first name, but I would greatly appreciate it if you stopped making songs that have to do with removing articles of clothing. I can no longer make an innocent comment about the rising tempurature without someone yelling "SO TAKE OFF ALL YOUR CLOTHES!!!"
Second, Why did you join up with Tim McGraw and do a COUNTRY SONG!? What ever happened to the band-aid-wearing, bling-carrying, retard-punching Nelly that everyone liked?! Now you go and make a pathetic song about a dude that looses his girl friend, so he goes and sings about it with a COUNTRY SINGER?! Jesus man, you sure have lost everything, including your balls.
Lastly, I walked into Home Depot the other day, and i dont know if was just a creepy bad omen, but when i entered the "Back Yard Grills" Section of the store, your latest song popped onto the speakers. You have no idea how awkward it is to scan the walls of grills when you hear "Lemme see your girll!" echoing around you. Lastly, I want you to find the baby-eating freak who compared himself to George Forman for selling people braces for their mouth! Is my dentist George Forman, is the store clerk at Home Depot George Forman? I punched the store clerk in the face and knocked him out, does that make me Mike Tyson?! I BIT OFF THE EAR OFF MY 5TH GRADE TEACHER, AM I MIKE TYSON!?!?!?!?!!!!
P.S. May I have your autograph?
Denis Leary - "Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a new dog, you get remarried, you owe ten million dollars in medical bills but you work hard for thirty five years and you pay it back and then one day you have a massive stroke, your whole right side is paralyzed, you have to limp along the streets and speak out of the left side of your mouth and drool but you go into rehabilitation and regain the power to walk and the power to talk and then one day you step off a curb at Sixty-seventh Street, and
you get hit by a city bus and then you die. Maybe."
Today we salute you Mr. Boneless Buffalo Wing Inventor.
How do you improve upon a meat that is breaded, buttered, double-fried
And dipped in blue cheese dressing?
Remove the only part that doesn't contain fat.
(don't need no chicken bone)
Gone now is the race to eat the drumsticks first,
Leaving the wings for the other poor suckers.
(hands off my drummies)
Is it leg?
Is it wing?
Is it rear end?
Now every chunk is as identical as it is indistinguishable.
(hope I'm not eating rear end)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light,
Boneless Wing Mastermind.
Because we don't have a bone to pick with you.
We Salute You
I am in the bathroom organizing rubber duckie army
On one side are the regular rubber duckies
On the other are the novelties filled with goth, devil, and neon colored duckies.
LET THE WAR BEGIN!
OMG the novelties just sunk 99% of the reg army!
BUT WAIT! the last reg standing has a BAZOOKA! *BOOM!*
*cries* *pours bathwater on the ground* this is to all the poor duckies who risked their lives today *sniffle*
Simpsons Away Messages
We Salute You
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