away messages that dont suck
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by: d1nonly (05/22/2007)

♥ I Want a Guy Who Would Move The Hair Away From My Eyes & Then Kiss Me. Hold My Hand In Line At The Mall To Make All The Girls Jealous .. Someone Who Would Sing To Me At RAND0M Moments. Who Would Let Me Sleep On Their Chest .♥ & He Wouldn` Mind If i Ate More Than Him .. Someone Who Would Let Me Gossip To Him .. & Would Just Smile & AGREE With Everything I Said .. No Matter How POiNTLESS!!.. He Would Throw ♥ Stuffed Animals ♥ At Me When i Acted Dumb & Then Kissssed Me a MILLION Times !! Someone Who Made Fun Of Me Just To Make Me Laugh ` He Would Tell All His Friends About Me .. And SMiLE When He Did .. =] AND WE`D MAKE OUT IN THE P0URING RAIN ..!! He`d Never Be Afraid To Say I Love y0u In Front Of His Friends. & We`d Argue About SiLLy Things ..& Then Make Up <3 ♥I Want a Guy To Kiss Me At Midnight On New Year`s & Count Stars With Me ♥ He Would Tell Me In Beautiful .. But Not Too Often. ! & Make Me Laugh Like NOONEElse Could .. But M0STLy .. I Want Someone Who Would Be My Best Friend & Would NEVER Break My Heart. ♥
Girly
1524 Clicks

by: Austin4590 (06/02/2004)

Denis Leary - "Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a new dog, you get remarried, you owe ten million dollars in medical bills but you work hard for thirty five years and you pay it back and then one day you have a massive stroke, your whole right side is paralyzed, you have to limp along the streets and speak out of the left side of your mouth and drool but you go into rehabilitation and regain the power to walk and the power to talk and then one day you step off a curb at Sixty-seventh Street, and BANG you get hit by a city bus and then you die. Maybe."
Celebs
1516 Clicks

by: bizzoony (03/26/2006)

Dear Nelly,
Not only does no one know your first name, but I would greatly appreciate it if you stopped making songs that have to do with removing articles of clothing. I can no longer make an innocent comment about the rising tempurature without someone yelling "SO TAKE OFF ALL YOUR CLOTHES!!!"
Second, Why did you join up with Tim McGraw and do a COUNTRY SONG!? What ever happened to the band-aid-wearing, bling-carrying, retard-punching Nelly that everyone liked?! Now you go and make a pathetic song about a dude that looses his girl friend, so he goes and sings about it with a COUNTRY SINGER?! Jesus man, you sure have lost everything, including your balls.
Lastly, I walked into Home Depot the other day, and i dont know if was just a creepy bad omen, but when i entered the "Back Yard Grills" Section of the store, your latest song popped onto the speakers. You have no idea how awkward it is to scan the walls of grills when you hear "Lemme see your girll!" echoing around you. Lastly, I want you to find the baby-eating freak who compared himself to George Forman for selling people braces for their mouth! Is my dentist George Forman, is the store clerk at Home Depot George Forman? I punched the store clerk in the face and knocked him out, does that make me Mike Tyson?! I BIT OFF THE EAR OFF MY 5TH GRADE TEACHER, AM I MIKE TYSON!?!?!?!?!!!!

P.S. May I have your autograph?
Celebs
1516 Clicks

by: whiplash513 (06/27/2006)

Hey,%n do u really have no life and have to read away messages? Well i will give u somthing fun to do.
See how many dogs it takes to eat a muffin. Ha you can figure it out! Because youre too stupid! Right? Yeah I'm right and you know it. I'm also sexy. Well can you do somthing for me? Ok. Copy and paste this into your buddy info. Did you know that 5 of 7 dogs are in fact DOGS! Yeah i know it was stupid....... Well so are you! Or are you? Is anyone? Wait! I just had an idea! I'm going to go run a giant truck into a house! yeah that would be fun.......... No wait its not. I could injure a blade of grass. Who cares about the people there are billions more. But then i might go to jail...... But that could be good! I could work out and get a six-pack and then i could break out and hold up a bank! But then I would go back for 10 years. then I could spend all the time there getting me a ten-pack. Then when I'm out I will go into war! But then i might get shot.... But chicks might think thats hot! And i could have chicks all over me! Or they could hate it and i would never get a girl. And then i would die alone...... But think of all the things I can do in heaven! Like i could fly. And knock over stuff! But then i would get sent to hell. But the fires would give me a good tan. And I could cook hot dogs. But on the other hand I would send an eternity burning and being whipped and stuff like that. But who cares about all of that because you just spent about 143 seconds. Ha! You really have no life! I guess I might be back. Or i could be making another away message like this so you can waste another 143 seconds reading it. Ha!
Other/Random
1514 Clicks

by: 1337one (03/23/2006)

Angels sang out in immaculate chorus
Down from the heavens descended Chuck Norris
Who deliver a kick which could shatter bones
Into the crotch of Indiana Jones
Who fell over on the ground, writhing in pain
As Batman changed back into Bruce Wayne
But Chuck saw through his clever disguise
And he crushed Batman's head in between his thighs

Then Gandalf the Grey and Gandalf the White and
"Monty Python and the Holy Grail"'s Black Knight and
Benito Mussolini and The Blue Meanie and
Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie
Robocop, the Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader
Lo Pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger
Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan,
Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan
All came out of no where lightning fast
and they kicked Chuck Norris in his cowboy ass
It was the bloodiest battle the world ever saw
With civilians looking on total awe

-"The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny", Lemon Demon
Chuck Norris
1513 Clicks

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