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by: MoreCowbell10389   (10/20/2006)

"Here are some insightful proverbs that help me through the days that you can read until I come back." There are two things a person should never be angry at, what they can help, and what they cannot. Unworthy offspring brag the most about their worthy descendants. What makes us discontented with our condition is the absurdly exaggerated idea we have of the happiness of others. Those who have free seats at a play hiss first. One can easily judge the character of a person by the way they treat people who can do nothing for them. Examine what is said, not him who speaks. A smooth sea never made a skillful mariner. A stumble may prevent a fall. He who walks with the lame learns how to limp. The journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step. Big words seldom accompany good deeds. Who digs a pit for others will fall in themselves. Footprints on the sands of time are not made by sitting down. If your strength is small, don't carry heavy burdens. If your words are worthless, don't give advice. To advise is easier than to help. "And here's an Irish proverb that, I think, lead to the drunk stereotypes:" What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for.
Inspirational
1394 Clicks

by: xxtwizzlerxx   (04/11/2007)

Procrastinators Creed
1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already. 2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses. 3. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration. 4. I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them. 5. I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprive from my obligations. 6. I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given. 7. I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle, though exceptionally small, is not exactly zero. 8. If at first you don't succeed, there is always next year. 9. I shall always begin, start, intitiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it. 10. I obey the law on inverse excuses which demands that the greater the task to be done, the more insignificant the work that must be done prior to the greater task. 11. I know that the work cycle is not plan/start/finish, but is wait/wait/plan. 12. I will never put off for tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.
Emo/Real Life
1393 Clicks

by: yippyskippy260   (06/16/2004)

Chinese Proverbs
1. Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone
2. Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day
3. Man who walk thru airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok
4. Man with one chopstick go hungry
5. Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails
6. Man who eat many prunes get good run for money
7. Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk
8. Panties not best thing on earth but next to best thing on earth
9. Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night
10. It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it
11. Man who stand on toilet is high on pot
12. Man who fart in church sit in own pew
13. Crowded elevator smell different to midget
Jokes
1392 Clicks

by: kate28   (05/27/2008)

Today we salute you,
Mr. Backyard Bug Zapper Inventor.
Not content to harmlessly repel insects with lotion,
You discovered a way to fry them with electricity until their bodies explode.
Ah the sounds of summer:
Crickets chirping.
Birds singing.
The blood-curdling scream of a moth having 700 volts of electricity shooting through its body.
(music to my ears)
Every night a magical explosion of exoskeleton and insect goo that can only mean one thing:
Summer's here.
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. June Bug Blaster,
Then sit back, and watch the fireworks.
Drinking
1392 Clicks

by: shortyduckie   (06/18/2004)

¿Quieres tú coger desnudo?
Fais vous voulez à acquérir dénudé?
Doen jou wens tegen verkrijgen onopgesmukt?
Fare voi volere a tavola cogliere spennato?
Otaku ketsubou dzuki choudai neikiddo?
Tun du müssen zu erhalten nackt?
I just said Do u wanna get naked? in 6 different languages: Spanish, French, Dutch, Italian, Japanese and German! WORD! So... do you? ;-)
Naughty
1391 Clicks

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