Badass Profile Tweaks
Top 25 Users
Top 25 MSGs
♥ I Want a Guy … Who Would Move The Hair Away From My Eyes & Then Kiss Me. Hold My Hand In Line At The Mall To Make All The Girls Jealous .. Someone Who Would Sing To Me At RAND0M Moments. Who Would Let Me Sleep On Their Chest .♥ & He Wouldn` Mind If i Ate More Than Him .. Someone Who Would Let Me Gossip To Him .. & Would Just Smile & AGREE With Everything I Said .. No Matter How POiNTLESS!!.. He Would Throw ♥ Stuffed Animals ♥ At Me When i Acted Dumb & Then Kissssed Me a MILLION Times !! Someone Who Made Fun Of Me Just To Make Me Laugh ` He Would Tell All His Friends About Me .. And SMiLE When He Did .. =] AND WE`D MAKE OUT IN THE P0URING RAIN ..!! He`d Never Be Afraid To Say I Love y0u In Front Of His Friends. & We`d Argue About SiLLy Things ..& Then Make Up <3 ♥I Want a Guy To Kiss Me At Midnight On New Year`s & Count Stars With Me ♥ He Would Tell Me In Beautiful .. But Not Too Often. ! & Make Me Laugh Like NOONEElse Could .. But M0STLy .. I Want Someone Who Would Be My Best Friend & Would NEVER Break My Heart. ♥
A man walked into a bar and said to the bartender. "I bet you $100's that I can piss in this empty bottle and not spill a single drop on the bar." The Bartender took the bet and the man whipped it out and started peeing all over the bartender and his bar. The Bartender grinning said "Why are you so happy? You just lost $100." The man replied, "Because I just bet them $500 that I could piss all over the bar and you and you wouldn't even get mad."
"And then Gandalf the Grey, and Gandalf the White, and 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail's' Black Knight, and Benito Mussolini, and the Blue Meanie, and Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie; Robocop, the Terminator, Captain Kirk and Darth Vader, Lo Pan, Superman; Every single Power Ranger, Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan; Spock, The Rock, Doct. Oct. and Hulk Hogan all came outta no where lightning fast and they kicked Chuck Norris in his cowboy ass, it was the bloodiest battle that the world ever saw, and civilians looked on in total awe..."
"Here are some insightful proverbs that help me through the days that you can read until I come back." There are two things a person should never be angry at, what they can help, and what they cannot. Unworthy offspring brag the most about their worthy descendants. What makes us discontented with our condition is the absurdly exaggerated idea we have of the happiness of others. Those who have free seats at a play hiss first. One can easily judge the character of a person by the way they treat people who can do nothing for them. Examine what is said, not him who speaks. A smooth sea never made a skillful mariner. A stumble may prevent a fall. He who walks with the lame learns how to limp. The journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step. Big words seldom accompany good deeds. Who digs a pit for others will fall in themselves. Footprints on the sands of time are not made by sitting down. If your strength is small, don't carry heavy burdens. If your words are worthless, don't give advice. To advise is easier than to help. "And here's an Irish proverb that, I think, lead to the drunk stereotypes:" What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for.
:::Questions not to ask in Foreign Lands::: IRELAND “Are you magically delicious or just angry and drunk? This beer is black- did a leprechaun crap in it?” FRANCE “Can I get a side of Freedom Fries with that? Aren’t the French just Germans who can make sauces?” ITALY “Is the Pope Polish? Does he have super powers like Jesus? I could sure go for a can of Spaghetti-O’s! ” POLAND “Do you hire foreigners to screw in your lightbulbs?” GERMANY “Is this bratwurst kosher?” TURKEY “Where’s the hash at? It’s cool to recreationally slaughter Kurds?” KOREA “Can you watch my puppy for a minute, or must you people deep fry him?” CHINA “This wall isn’t so great.” ENGLAND “Did you ever get a piece of ass from that Diana chick?” SWEDEN “Do you have any normal meatballs? Want to hear a dumb blonde joke?” YEMEN “Yemen? That’s a stupid name for a country. What’s it mean -- ‘Land Of Fanatics And Dust' ?” INDIA “You don’t live in teepees? Where can I get a good juicy steak around here?” ETHIOPIA “After a long day of travel, I’m famished. Hey – those flies sure love your pregnant son!” CANADA “You’re like Americans without money.” SPAIN “So, this is the country that’s not Portugal? Wow. Your women can shave if they want to, right? Where can I get some Cheez Whiz nachos?” SOUTH AFRICA “I liked it better the other way.” MEXICO “What's that smell?” SAUDI ARABIA “Would you like to see my designs for a solar powered car? Is it legal to beat your wives here, or what?” RUSSIA “Is it always this cold and economically devastated?” UZBEKISTAN “Can you spell Uzbekistan?” GREECE “I hear this place is a less expensive version of Italy." AFGHANISTAN “Seriously, where is the real country… where is everything?” JAPAN “What’s Hiroshima? Is that a kind of sushi?” AUSTRALIA “How can we stop Mel Gibson? Is there a cure?” AMERICA “Was John Wayne gay?”
Mean Away Messages
We Salute You
© CGI Inc. 2009